Tuesday, October 7, 2008




I just watched last week's Private Practice (I know... I'm slow...) and .... there almost are NO WORDS. I'm extremely upset. RAGEFUL.

First... Naomi got herself into this MESS because she's a fucking idiot. I'm sorry, but she is. And what a timely issue this is. She's running the practice, sees a chance to refinance the mortgage on their building, she takes it. Now, the payments have ballooned and she can't afford them anymore. I realize this is happening to a billion people right now, and this may sound harsh, but I think all of them are idiots. HOW can you have a conversation like this with yourself?

WOW! I take this financing deal, and for three years my mortgage payments for this massively huge house that I could never in a million years dream of ever living in (and is more space than I will ever need) are only $200?! OMG! THAT'S THE DEAL OF A LIFETIME! I'd be stupid to pass that up! Never mind the fact that the payments will go up after 3 years, and never mind the fact that I have NO IDEA WHAT THEY WILL BE. WHO CARES! $200, baby! FOR ALL THIS HOUSE! WOOHOO!!! The banks will never do anything shady like jack up the payment to $23042342394324 a month to make up for allllllllllllllllll the money they've lost letting me pay just $200. Nothing could possibly be wrong or shady about this! Where do I sign?!

Seriously... how could ANYONE be that fucking stupid?! Promising to pay something when you have NO IDEA what that something is?!

[Look! I'm getting SO MAD I'm Kanye West-style loving my caps lock.]

So yeah, Naomi did this with the building the practice owns, and now they can't make the mortgage payments. FIRED.

This leads her to get real shady. Enter couple #1.

They have a 7 yr old son who's dying. The cord blood of a perfectly matched sibling could save him. So they ask idiot doctor to make them a match. Idiot doctor does this because they pay her $80,000, and she needs the money to pay her now ridiculous mortgage payment. There are SO many things wrong with this. These parents don't want this kid (who's a girl, by the way). She's simply a donor that mom has to incubate for 40 weeks. To complicate this even more, the little boy was supposed to get a transfusion from a partial match. So he checks into the hospital and they completely strip his immune system to prepare him for this. Partial match donor gets sick, so they can't do it. But now we have a 7 year old who is going to die in a week because he has no immune system and whatever problem he had to begin with. So mom, at only 6 months pregnant, demands that Addison induce her. Never mind that her little girl will have massive issues (if she even survives) - gotta get that cord blood! Addison, of course, is appalled by the suggestion and says no. Idiot doctor asks "why not?" (OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!) So mom SHOVES A KNITTING NEEDLE UP INTO HER TO BREAK HER WATER, and Addison has to deliver this ridiculously premature baby. After delivery when the baby doesn't cry, mom gets all concerned and wants to know if she's ok. Like she cares. Now, they're stuck with two sick kids. FIRED.

Enter couple #2.

11 years ago, they brought their HIV + son in to be seen by the pediatrician and they demand that the boy not know about his condition. For whatever reason, this shady ass place is ok with that. Now... the boy is 14 and wants to get it on with his girlfriend. He tells Dr. Cooper that he's just waiting for her to start the pill so they can get busy. Dr. Cooper can't tell this kid that he needs to be way way way super careful because he's got HIV because he's not allowed to. So, he meets with the parents to try to help them see the light that their kid isn't a kid anymore, but he's not allowed to tell them that he wants to get freaky with his girl. The parents refuse to think he'd engage in any kind of sexual behavior and don't see the point in telling him he's got a disease that's gonna kill him. FIRED. So, Dr. Cooper pulls the kid in and breaks the law by telling his parents that he's gonna do his girl. Parents have a private conversation with the kid. After, the kid is 1. never going to trust his parents because they lied to him his entire life, 2. never going to trust this doctor again because he told the parents that he was gonna get it on with his girl - and he may not trust any doctors again. This, obviously, is a MASSIVE ISSUE for someone who's HIV + and needs to see doctors and get appropriate treatment. and 3. NONE OF IT MATTERS BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL TOO LATE AND HE DID HIS GIRL THE NIGHT BEFORE. So now, this poor kid might have to live with the idea of giving his first love HIV for the rest of his life. Again, FIRED.

Haha... ok, so I guess there were words. A lot of them. I know all these people are fake or whatev, but O.M.G. Hahaha... it's rare I get this involved in the tv shows I watch. I was going to say something about Boston Legal, which I watched before this, but I got so worked up during Private Practice that now I can barely remember Denny's antics. Sadness.

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