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Monday, October 6, 2008

Why I loathe the Red Sox

It's hard to put into words just how much I hate the Red Sox. It's equally as hard to put into words why I hate them so much. But, I will do my best to explain my rationale here.

I hate the Red Sox, because a lot of their fans are simply Red Sox fans because they (inexplicably) hate the Yankees. How retarded is that?! "Red Sox Nation," which is a term that makes me throw up in my mouth, is really a group of people that spent 86 years whining and complaining about not winning a World Series title. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH we didn't win this year. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH it's all the Yankees fault. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH to the evil empire. HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT?! Blaming your inability to get shit done in the post season on another team?! Claiming that, because they "buy their team," you can't handle your own shit?! This would maybe be a plausible argument if the Yankees won all 86 of those titles. But they didn't. So shut the fuck up. All the recent members of "Red Sox Nation" (just threw up in my mouth again) are just band wagoners who "love" them because they've won two titles in a few years. And, I think this guy sums things up well: After all those years of incessant whining and crying about how losing builds special character, they finally win and exhibit no grace or dignity or "character" whatsoever.

Speaking of "Red Sox Nation" (VOMIT again), yall act like you're the only team with lots of fans (regardless of how legitimate those fans are). Yeah, because the Braves, the Yankees, the Cubs, and the Mets don't have oodles of fans outside of their geographic home. Idiots.

And let's talk about this Yankees hate for a minute. Buying their team?! According to the previously mentioned article, every pitcher and starting player but one on their 2004 roster was a high-priced free agent. Their 2007 winning roster cost them $165 million, making it the second most expensive in baseball. Who's buying their team, again?!

And if I have to see that fucking bloody sock one more time, I'm going to puke (yes, there's a lot of puking involved with the Red Sox). Ok, so goodie for him for playing injured, but DAMN. Yall act like he's the only player in the history of all sports to play a game hurt. Shit. A UVA baseball player played with a fucking fractured hand, and he didn't even see trainers or a doctor about it for days. Not only did he continue to play, he didn't fucking whine or carry on about it. And he wasn't getting paid a bazillion dollars, either. AND he had to play in every game, unlike what pitchers have to do. On both sides of the ball, too. Sean Singletary played many games for us (almost non-stop throughout each of them) where he was so sick he was throwing up on the bench during timeouts. Again, he did this for free, and without all the hoopla and attention for it. And if I thought more about it, I could come up with 2304823043243 stories of pro players playing injured. I don't see this "bloody sock" as the most amazing thing in the world, so shut the fuck up about it already.

And Manny Ramirez. What a fucking douche bag. And yall let him get away with anything and everything simply because he was "Manny being Manny." Fuck that. Manny needs to grow up and act like an adult. Most of your players need to grow up and act like fucking adults. The Red Sox line up looks like a collection of homeless people thrown together and into poorly fitting uniforms 10 min before a game starts. Have a little self respect. Take a shower. If you're going to have long hair, fucking brush it. Shave, for God's sake. Wear a uniform that won't hold you and 7 of your teammates.

And Rocket. Roger Clemens WAS A PITCHER FOR THE RED SOX, you idiots! He won THREE Cy Young awards with yall. He wanted to stay, but yall ran him out of town. And now yall hate him. WTF is that?!

That sorta gets some of my feelings out, and it's probably the best I'll be able to do at summing them up. I HATE THE RED SOX.

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