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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Super Bowl Shuffle, anyone?

Apparently, the Chicago Bears aren't the only ones with a hott rap from back in the 80s. According to Chris Cooley, making these was all the rage back in the day. First, lets remind ourselves of the most famous of these locker room raps...



Haha... we all know this is fabulous. But it's not the only one. Chris posted several on his page the other day, the best obviously belonging to my Skins. (hahaha. Yes. "Chris" posted them... like I know him.) And I just re-read it, and it looks like his brother Tanner actually posted them.... but whatev. :-P



Gotta love it! I'll also share my other favorite.... the rap from the Raiders. No, I'm not a Raiders fan, but I LOVE that Howie Long raps in it. Makes the whole thing. And I love that his hair hasn't changed in 20 years. Enjoy!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Heidi and Spencer married, Ashlee Simpson baby

Ok. This is NOT GOOD. I dunno what evil alignment the planets were in this year, but it clearly wasn't a good one.

First, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had their little emo baby, Bronx Mowgli Wentz, on the fabulous day that is my birthday. That was pretty fucking horrible. I'm sure he was born with tragically bad emo hair flat ironed into his face and dyed a ridiculous shade of super black, complete with eye liner and black nail polish, and that trademark emo mopey look that lets us all know how completely tragic his life is. At least that is genuine - we'd all have that mopey look if Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were our parents. I'm sure "flat iron" will be one of Bronx Mowgli Wentz's first words.

This was bad enough on the glorious day that is my birthday. But then today's news showed up:

Heidi and Spencer eloped in Mexico. I mean... this is the worst.cover.EVER. Ashlee baby... Heidi and Spencer marriage. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. That photo pretty much makes me wanna hurl. Good thing I haven't had dinner.

Apparently these two twats snuck off to Mexico and eloped, despite objections from their parents..... and the rest of the free world. Check out the photos here. I love how Heidi managed to find the most hookerish shoes... just shy of some Shauna Sand lucite heels. And I think Michael K is right.... Heidi is looking a little preggo in that dress. God lets hope she's not carrying the spawn of Spencer.

I officially have to change my birthday. Or jump off a bridge. Or maybe both... I wouldn't want an obit to say that my birthday was the same date as these two events.

Pink Sari Gang

This is awesome!

There's a group of women running around India calling themselves "gulabi gang" (pink gang), that are whooping some ass on some fucked up men!

For the last two years. the women have been searching out corruption in the police force and delivering their own vigilante justice to anyone guilty of domestic violence or sexual assault.

Armed with lahti (traditional sticks), these pink clad women beat beat men who have abandoned or abused their wives and policemen who have refused to register claims of rape.

The group's 47-year old fierce leader said:

"The police and officials are corrupt and anti-poor. So sometimes we have to take the law into our own hands. At other times, we shame the wrongdoers. But we are not a gang in the usual sense of the term. We are a gang for justice. We wear pink because it is the colour of life."

They've racked up numerous criminal charges over the past two years, but that hasn't slowed them down. I think they're really cool and awesome, and should keep it up! Plus, they chose PINK as their signature color! Can't go wrong with that!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Tina Sherman Nude McDonalds Photos

Holy potatoes, batman! Tina Sherman is definitely NOT loving it.

She sent racy photos of herself to her husband. That idiot left his phone at a McDonalds. The manager said he'd keep the phone safe. Someone there found the photos and uploaded them to a website that included Tina Sherman's name and contact info.

Read my story about it at Right Celebrity! See one of the photos here.

Seriously - HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?! First, in this day and age, we allllllllllllllll know not to have naked pictures of ourselves really anywhere. Second, DON'T LEAVE YOUR CELL PHONE and if you do, return IMMEDIATELY to get it. Third, don't snoop and then admit to it by putting the photos on a fucking website and sending Tina text messages from her hubby's phone about it! and if you're going to be that dumb, DON'T POST TINA'S CONTACT INFO with the photos. That is really unnecessary info, anyway.

Idiots.

Birthday Roundup

Ok... so yesterday was the last of the birthday festivities..... sorta. Lusty Lulu couldn't be there, so he's promised me a day of inappropriate photos wherever I want. We'll call that a sorta extension of the birthday fun. But for now, it's over.

Inebriated Erin and I went to the Wax and Spy museums yesterday. We decided to meet at Metro Center, since we live a bit away from each other and there was no point in one of us driving to the other's house prior to a long-ish drive to a metro station. Inebriated Erin left her house CRAZY early, and was at Metro Center before my train had left from Springfield. Apparently while she was waiting for me, she befriended a homeless man who gave her a flower. Awwww how sweet! : )

When we were finally both in the same place at the same time, we headed off to the Wax Museum. I knew what corner the joint was on, but I had no idea where it was in relationship to where we were when we arose from the depths of the metro. Some random dude asked if he could help us, and we of course said no because we didn't know who the fuck he was. We looked around and were still clueless (and VERY COLD), so I looked at some sign that was babbling about DC. A random person got all bitchy with me and said "ya know, that's what that guy over there is for," referring to the possibly sketch dude who'd attempted to talk to us before. So from a safe distance, I asked him if he knew where the wax museum was, and he gave me alllllllllllllllllllllllll kinds of bitchy attitude because I hadn't wanted to talk to him before. Let's take a brief timeout here. Inebriated Erin and I are two girls alone in DC, and some non-police officer dude is asking us if we need help. WHY would we say yes? My ultimate goal was to survive the day so I could later write about it. No need to get all bitchy with me just because I didn't get the memo that DC was putting random guys in random places to tell me where things are.

Anyrudeassbitch"helper"guy.... without looking up from his cell phone (RUDE!) he was able to stop being bitchy long enough to point us in the right direction, and we eventually found ourselves at the museum. It was fabulous and "really cool and awesome" and you should check out the photos from the experience.... MUCH inappropriateness took place.

Back to the metro to go just one little stop so we can check out the spy museum. I know... it's ridic to ride the metro one stop... I'm sure it was just 2 blocks or something crazy like that, but I didn't know what direction said 2 blocks were in, and I wasn't about to start wandering around in the FREEZING cold of the day, so metro it was!

We got to the spy museum and realized we were fairly hungry, so we popped into an eatery across the street for some food and beer (I was with Inebriated Erin, after all:-P). Inebriated Erin did a quick scan of their in-house brewed beers and naturally picked the one with the highest alcohol content - gotta get the most for your buck! Makes total sense in these harsh economic times. So we drank a little... and ate a little... and spent what felt like 203842035203483243 hours sitting there. In reality - only an hour. That place must have been in some weird ass time warp or something, but it seriously felt like 3 days.

Anyiswearwewerentdrunk.... we finally were off to the spy museum! I was WAY excited about this, as I'd heard from various people that it was fun and seriously - how could stuff about real life spies NOT be cool? To sum up the experience, I'll share a little exchange between me and Inebriated Erin:

Inebriated Erin: I SO thought this was going to be really cool and awesome.
Erika: Yeah, me too : ( But it.......
Inebriated Erin: ...... was NOT really cool and awesome.

The museum was just.... OOC. I felt smacked in the face with WAY too much information.... all in itty bitty type that I had to stand around reading... in the midst of 20384023483243 other people trying to do the same. There was a lot of interactive stuff, none of which we could take advantage of because of alllllllllllllllllllllll the people there.

We did get to see two things designed for spies to shove up their asses, one of which was HUGE. That was kinda cool.

The BEST part of that experience was the quiz. When we first got there, we were told to pick an identify from the 16 posted all over the place. It had basic info like name, age, where you're from, job, where you're going and why. They said you had to learn this info, but never said why. I picked some Italian girl because she was 21 (and the theme of this whole birthday has been about getting younger). She was a travel agent from Mirano, Italy going to Hanoi, Vietnam for 30 days on business... I think her name was Angelena Falcone. Erin picked some 26 year old Kenyan chick with a name she couldn't pronounce.

As we're walking around... just a few minutes after the "really cool and awesome" conversation, someone came up to us to QUIZ US about our identities. Now... it had been a significant amount of time since we'd read these things. This chick and dude were standing there and were like WHATS YOUR NAME?! I was like uuuuuuuuhhhhhh and I looked at Erin, who had to help me with the first name. After that, I was pretty good and they lied and said I was "convincing" at taking on this new identity (a MASSIVE lie because I didn't know my name, and I laughed through the whole thing). They gave me some kind of "you're a kick ass spy" sticker, and tried to give one to Inebriated Erin, since they assumed we were both this girl. I made it VERY clear that this was not the case, because if I had to be quizzed, so did she.

They asked her her name, and and all Inebriated Erin could come up with was "umm... it starts with an H!" and she spewed off almost all the other info about this girl. The two spy quizzers laughed and said something like "well... seems you know everything... BUT YOUR NAME," which they thought was comical.

They eventually found her little bio, and asked her where she was from. After 5 minutes or so, it was clear Inebriated Erin was never going to come up with this info, so they moved on. At this point, I was laughing hysterically. The quizzers both looked at me and were like "ma'am, this is SERIOUS," and basically gave me a look that said they were gonna take me out back and shoot me if I didn't stop. I attempted to get my game face (oooor spy face) on, but it didn't work well. They next asked Inebriated Erin "so what do you do for a living in the place we have yet to establish?" This of course got me laughing all over again, and Inebriated Erin was all ummmmmmm until they said "you look like you're good with money." Inebriated Erin was able to get the rest of her thing, except where she lived. They told her she was living in Kenya, let her keep her spy sticker, and we were on our way. By far, the highlight of the experience.

So that was our day! Good timez at the Wax Museum, intense quizzing at the Spy Museum, and a time warp over lunch.

Now we just need to find a place to take Lusty Lulu for the inappropriate pictures he promised me. If anyone has any ideas, let me know!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Awesome Birthday-ness

So... the quick highlights so far....


-My step dad is like... biologically averse to my birthday, so once again plans changed at the last minute. it's ok, though... i ended up going to Fudruckers with Texas and my mom, and we're scheduled to go to Mike's American Grill as soon as the evil step father feels better : )

-After Fudruckers, we came back here and i got my MY LITTLE PONY CAKE!!!!! seriously... the best.cake.EVER. and it tasted SO GOOD!! very exciting.

-After cake, i played wii with my mom. way cool.

-Today, i got to play wii at work! totally not birthday related, but still hott shit : )

-I got a card from Inebriated Erin that was some SERIOUS hott shit. Too funny for words, and came complete with a drunk Inebriated Erin doodle!

-This email exchange happened with the hottest slut of them all, Michael K from dlisted!!

[In response to my TOTAL horror that i share a birthday with Bronx Mowgli Wentz]
You do?! Oh shit. Block it the fuck out. BMW! lol.
happy belated
birthday btw ho
xoxoxox

[In response to my response, where i said i'd be reminded yearly of this horridness]
Bitch change your birthdate! Legally do that shit. Naw. Eff him. He'll
probably run away next year and never me heard from again.
Love you ho!


OMGGGG! I heart Michael K more than words can say. So this... pretty much made me DIE.

ON TAP: HOTT TIMES WITH INEBRIATED ERIN tomorrow at the wax and spy museums!! Priceless pictures to come : )

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Prince William Penis

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! According to my Right Celebrity people, this is a REAL PHOTO of Prince William's.... willy. Apparently, this was alllllllllllll the rage today... somehow I missed all the hoopla. Perez has several sites w/ the photos... one has it in video form.

succio! I bet the queen is DYING.

WTF is he doing here?! I mean.... what is he doing??! Why is he just...walking around like that?! And I know what yall are thinking... why couldn't this have been prince hott ginge? (or... hott auburn, as he claims he is). I guess we can't be too picky when we're asking for royal penis, now can we?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Look! A story that's not just a bunch of links!

Yes... I don't write very much anymore. but that's because someone else swooped me up, and they take up a lot of my time. But I did want to take a few minutes now and write a few words on the eve of my 24th birthday.

Yes. My 24th birthday. Again. Ya see, I feel old... and I don't like being old. And I wasn't a big fan of 25, so I've decided I don't just want to hold here. So I've taken the next step and decided to move backwards starting tomorrow. So I will be turning 24 for the second time. In a year, I'll turn 23 again. I must say, I really am excited about this.

I'm already really excited about this birthday... although that's gotten me into trouble in the past, as I've ultimately found myself disappointed. But hopefully this year will turn out different - I am defying the whole space-time continuum, after all. Tomorrow night for the big day, I'm doing a family dinner w/ my mom, step dad, step grandpa (?), and bf. We're going out to dinner, then going to my step grandpa's (again.. ??) for CAKE! And I'm WAY excited about this cake - it's my little pony!!! See? No way to be disappointed by this! I can't wait!

Saturday is going to be AWESOME, too. Inebriated Erin and I have made some kick ass plans. We're going to venture into DC (which means Inebriated Erin has to brave the metro... should be exciting!) and go to the wax museum and the spy museum! I've never been to either of them, so I'm pretty excited. Inebriated Erin's all geeked up for the wax museum and political figures housed within, and can't wait to take 23840238423202384234 inappropriate pictures with them. I, too, can't wait for her to do this. And the spy museum! I've heard some pretty cool things about it, so I'm way excited : )

Maybe after we can catch some dinner.... or find some booze and act dumb on the mall? haha... probably something in the middle of the two. Can't wait!! : )

Monday, November 17, 2008

Latest Right Celebrity Posts

Jodie Prenger. Some British reality tv whore. well... she's not a whore, but she's definitely whoring herself out for the tv.

Debbie Matenopoulos is getting divorced. She says she's surprised and devastated. but they've been separated since March, sooooo can she really be that surprised?

California wildfires are threatening stars' homes. and ya know... a bunch of other real shit owned by ppl who don't have 230842043 other houses to choose from when they have to figure out where the hell theyre gonna live.

Britney Spears is gonna be on X Factor. Too bad I can't watch that. hopefully it's not a trainwreck like her last performance was.

Carrie Underwood's Just a Dream performance at the CMAs. Yeah... I've watched this video 203840343 times, and it still makes me cry.

Monica Cruz upskirt. I can't believe I wrote this story.

Rebecca Willis and her Dirty Dancing lawsuit. hahahaha. watch the video - i think this lady dances like my mom.

Madonna let Guy see the kids. And it came with a huge list of crazy ass demands. shocking.

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom are engaged. Maybe.

Jesse Metcalfe falls 40 ft. Yeah... i know he's a giant douche, but it's sad when something that hott gets hurt. ok... that was a pretty horrible thing to say. i do hope he's ok.

Jennifer Aniston in Vogue. And holy shit did she stir the pot with this one.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake goes to rehab. Amy won't pay. Probably b/c he didn't tell her he was getting out of jail, and she found out when the rest of us did.

Drew Barrymore thinks prop 8 sucks ass. because it does. this has stirred up quite the little comment fight. loves it.

Brit Brit takes little Jayden James to the hospital. he's ok, though.

Lindsay Lohan in Harper's Bazaar. and she's not a lezzie. but she may be bi.

and there ya have it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Right Fielders and Right Celebrity

New links!

Big Ben Injured! yeah... i didn't pay attention, so i don't know if he played yesterday or not...

Something about Serena. barf.

Jose Canseco guilty. gets probation. lame.

Carrie Underwood continues to talk about Tony Romo. this one was fun, cuz i got to mention that she called Jessica "fat" a few months ago. gotta love a cat fight that just won't end.

18 game NFL season? this would be sweet.

Roger Clemens and his lawsuit. cuz, ya know, he never used steroids. whatever you say, Rocket.

Jennifer Aniston having twins? that's what Star wants us to believe.

Britney Spears goes to Kentwood. And brings Tater Tot and Small Fry with her. Awww.

Mariah Carey sings live! and acts like a TOTAL diva on her 3 day hop across the the pond.

Nicole Kidman does Glamour. Talks about Tom, Stepford Katie, and her kids.

Bad Boy Colin Farrell not a bad boy anymore. He's still hott as shit, though.

Brad Pitt on Oprah. Talks about his cute kids and that homewrecker he's with. Yes... I still think she's a homewrecker.

Kanye West pees on the floor. What a douche.

Lisa Rinna admits too much lip filler. DUH.

YAY! for celeb gossip!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I've been promoted!!!

After making it through my 60 post trial period with Right Fielders, I'VE BEEN PROMOTED!!! And, what's even better - I GET TO WRITE CELEBRITY GOSSIP NOW!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

I'll now be posting on Right Celebrity, which I'm way excited about (if you couldn't tell). Not that I didn't love writing on the sports page.... but I spend way too much time in my life reading about bad celeb gossip - now I can justify it : )

I'll continue to post links to my stories here for yall to enjoy : )

Happy reading!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Your Daily Dose of Right Fielders

Can the Skins predict the President? except for 2004, they have since 1936. freaky.

Magic Johnson wants YOU to vote no on Prop 8. Just the latest celeb to jump on this train.

Evil Biggest Loser asshole beats kid, gets arrested. this story was painfully hard to read and write about.

Becks is on the cover of Dec 08 UK GQ. Yum.

Ryan Reynolds runs NY Marathon. And someone thinks his wife's a clone.

James Blake is tired. So he'd like the ATP schedule to be shorter and less demanding. Cuz, ya know, God forbid athletes have to play for a living.

um....... ok..... ??!

Last night, I wrote this story about Ryan Reynolds and how he ran in the NY Marathon to help raise money for Parkinson's disease (I'll get around to posting all my story links later today...).

That's what the story was about - Ryan, marathon, Parkinson's. Since I always have to include a video, I picked one that talked about his marriage to Scarlett Johansson. Not for any particular reason, I just needed a video and the wedding is relatively recent news.

When I got up this morning, I had an email saying someone had commented on the story. I absolutely love these emails, because some of the comments are truly priceless. Today did not disappoint.

Here, in all it's glory, is the comment:

I’d like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress)actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created illegally using stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady.I’ll tell more,those clones(it’s not only 1)made in GERMANY-world leader manufacturer of humans clones,it’s in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,Rhineland-Palatinate,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town.You can’t even imaging the scale of the cloning activity.But warning,H.Kohl staff strictly controlling their clones spreading around the world,they’re NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close with clones you will be controlled too.Original family didn’t authorize any activity with stolen biomaterials,no matter what form it was created in,it’s all need to be back to original family control in Cedars-Sinai MedicalCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation.Original Scarlett never was engaged,by the way

And there you have it! Scarlett is a clone, and apparently one of many. Who knew?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Right Fielders

A way to prevent 14 yr old gymnasts from saying they're 16. I'm still pissed nothing more is being done about this.

Head shots in the NHL. Pretty brutal sport - I'm not really sure why I don't watch it. Maybe I should try harder to get into this.

Steve Young voting no on Prop 8. The Mormons must be pissed.

Warrick Dunn is coming out with a book. And he's got lots of interesting stuff to say.

Marat Safin retiring? I'm not sure what happened to him.... he used to be hott as hell. but.... now... not as much.

Marion Jones on Oprah. She says she didn't know she was doping. Others say she's lying.

ARod Madonna secret meeting? hahahahaha. I heart this story more than words can say.