Monday, December 21, 2009

The Sweet Taste of Revenge

I woke up this morning beyond sore, but I eventually gathered myself together enough to and start digging my car out. Seeing all the snow my rude neighbor had piled up kind of enraged me all over again... so when I was shoveling the snow between my car and her 2nd car, instead of moving it up onto my lawn, I may have thrown it around her car. Whoops.

As my reward, a neighbor FINALLY came and helped me. I've spent two days shoveling stuff, and lots of neighbors have been out during this time. I'm a girl... and I'm by myself, and not one of them has volunteered to help me. Today, while I was working on moving the extra heavy and icy stuff from behind my car, a neighbor came home and had to make a little extra room in his parking spot before he was able to pull in. When he was done, he came over and helped me shovel the last bit of snow. What a super awesomely wonderfully nice guy :-D Big YAY!! for a nice neighbor guy! :)

Even though I spent a ton of time digging, I still don't think I'm going to be able to get my car out... there was stuff under the car and some slush I couldn't get up... so I'm envisioning a huge sheet of ice under and around my car tomorrow :( Guess we'll see what happens...

...Just Like The Ones I Used To Know

Ok... so the snow here was out of control! It started probably around 8 or 9 friday night, and didn't stop snowing until around midnight sunday morning - OH EM GEE! When it was all said and done, there was about 22 inches of it sitting on my deck. WOW. It never snows like this in the DC area... what the hell?!

Obviously I was trapped here all day Saturday while it snowed (and snowed, and snowed), which sucked because my baby nephew had rolled into town Friday night. Yesterday during a break from attempting to tunnel my way out of my house, my step dad called and said he would be here in 15 minutes to take me to my nephew - woohoo!!! He picked me up in his wonderful 4 wheel drive truck, and I got to spend a few hours with the little guy before having to come back here to keep shoveling.

Upon my return, I noticed that one of my neighbors had done an incredibly shitty thing. The sidewalks that run along the street/parking lot are community owned, but we're responsible for shoveling the part that runs in front of our lawn. No big deal (well... that's a lie, because I have a lot more sidewalk than most people because I have an end unit). While I was playing with my nephew, my neighbor had been working on digging her car out. One of the hardest things about shoveling 22 inches of snow is trying to figure out where the hell to put all of it. My wonderful neighbor decided to put all of her parking spot snow right on top of the sidewalk that I was responsible for clearing. Ummm.... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! There is no way in hell I'm shoveling the 22 inches I was responsible for in addition to the 1.5 ft she piled on top of it. NO FUCKING WAY. Lusty Lulu and a certain someone told me I should just throw it all back into her parking spot. As wonderfully vindictive as that sounds, it would require me to move all that snow. NOT HAPPENING. If anyone wants to take up an issue with this uncleared part of the sidewalk, they can take it up with her, because I'm not fucking touching it.

I am most certainly paying the price of all the shoveling I did do yesterday. I woke up this morning, and every inch of my upper body is beyond sore, and it hurts to do anything more than blink. I still have to clean off my car and dig it out... not sure how I'm going to accomplish that today. Anyone want to come help? I can make you some fabulous baked goods in exchange for some hard, manual labor. Please?

Friday, December 18, 2009

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

So there have been several Christmas-related happenings lately!

Last Sunday I woke up with the desperate need to bake... so I was able to convince Lusty Lulu to come over and make goodies with me. After about 2038234 years, he finally showed up, and we decided to make cinnamon rolls, brownies with cream cheese frosting swirled in them, triple chocolate cookies, and sugar cookies. Yes... we were planning on making allllllllllll that. We made our grocery list, and we headed out to the store.

After a lot of crowded shopping, we finally made it back home and got started. Up first - sugar cookie dough, since it needed to get cold so we could cut shapes out of it. We decided to make two batches of it, and I threw it in the freezer, and we moved on to the cinnamon roll dough. Lusty Lulu apparently has no idea how to measure flour, because we ended up with a wet sticky mess rather than a delicious dough. After much kneading (and sticking) on my part, and the addition of a LOT of flour, we finally had something that resembled actual dough, and we put that near the oven so it could rise a little.

Now on to the brownies. We made them from scratch (because that's how I roll). Before putting them in to bake, we made cream cheese frosting, dyed it green, and swirled it into the brownie batter. You can't really see it, but omg it tastes SO FREAKING GOOD. We had some left over frosting, so we put that on top... delicious!! After that, we made the triple chocolate cookies, which of course are awesome. These things are like a heart attack on a plate, though. The recipe calls for SIX EGGS, and almost THREE CUPS of sugar. OMG, right? Plus 16 oz of two different kinds of chocolate, PLUS a bag of chocolate chips. WOW. In case you were wondering - that baking math adds up to awesome goodness.

Then back to the cinnamon rolls - rolled out the dough, put in the yummy filling, and baked them up. My favorite part about them is they only take 10 minutes in the oven. They are seriously SO easy to make it kills me. I totally don't understand why anyone would make them out of a can. While they were baking we whipped up another batch of cream cheese frosting, and put it on as soon as the rolls came out of the oven. Divine!

We then attempted to move on to the sugar cookies. Unknown to Lusty Lulu, I'd put the dough in the freezer. Instead of having wonderfully cold, workable dough, we had a massive frozen ball. Whoops :( VERY disappointing, as I'd bought a big thing of cookie cutters, and we had plans to make butter cream frosting and were going to crazy decorate these things. So I wrapped the dough all up, moved it to the fridge, and I'm waiting to find a hott 5 minutes to make all these cookies.

The baking got the week off to a very Christmasy start! Later in the week, I went shopping with a certain someone for gifts for my nephews, and we watched Bad Santa, which he had never seen (!! can you believe that??!). At the end of the week, I knocked out shopping for my mom, step dad, and that certain someone. Woo! After a few days of driving around with all of it in my car, I finally got the loot into the house, and I spent last night wrapping (and wrapping, and wrapping).

Today, both that certain someone and I had the day off, so we had plans to do something together - and I was hoping the day would end in a trip to DC to see the tree across the street from the White House. I brought his presents over and put them under his tree, and we headed out to run some errands and bum around, which was super fun. After grabbing lunch, we headed over to the Air and Space museum by Dulles, which I had never been to. He's a bit of a plane nerd, so he was all excited to take me. We walked around, and I was amazed by how big some of the planes were ..... and how suuuper tiny some of the other ones were. We ended the trip up in the observation tower and watched a handful of planes land. The view up there is really pretty (if you look out past the airport). On a clear day, which today was not, you can see Sugar Loaf mt, and the blue ridges mountains. You could kind of see Sugar Loaf today, but it sort of blended in with the grey sky. I very unsuccessfully took a few self-pictures of the two of us, which he was crazy amused by, and then we headed out. On the way back to his place, he said that once it got dark and traffic died down, we would head into the city to see the tree. YAY! SOOOO excited!!!!

We got back to his place and checked on the weather, since a huge storm was supposed to roll in over night. Bad news - weather had slightly changed, and the snow was supposed to start earlier. My fun Christmas evening got hijacked by some freaking snow, and we ended up running around getting him all prepared for it. When we were done with that, I hightailed it out of dodge in a panic because it was already snowing in my neck of the woods. I got home juuust in time, too. (Side note, snow is one of the many things that really flairs up my anxiety. It's super pretty, but I HATE driving in it.)

Once I got home safe and sound, I was able to relax a bit and enjoy the pretty of the snow... Started taking some pictures, which I'll share at some point, and I'm kind of excited to see what it looks like tomorrow. That certain someone called to make sure I'd gotten home safely, and told me he would try to take me to see the tree sometime in the next few days when he gets off work one night. YAY! my trip might be saved :-D It's not Christmas without a trip to see the national tree, after all :)

On tap - seeing my nephew, who rolled into town tonight (YAY!). Also, gotta make those sugar cookies... maybe tomorrow, since I'll be snowed in all day. That trip to see the tree is also coming up, and I'm hoping to convince my mom and step-dad to put up a tree this year, since my nephew will be around for the next few days, and it's his first Christmas. Fun times ahead!! :)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

I love Christmas and I'm starting to get really excited that it's just around the corner!

Since I met him, a certain someone has maintained that he hates Christmas (who hates Christmas?!) and specifically said to me "there will not be one Christmas decoration in my apartment this year." Enter last Sunday. We were hanging out watching tv and he said "well... even if I wanted a tree... I don't have anywhere to put it." When I pointed out that he had a great place to put a tree, he stammered around for a few minutes and almost sounded resigned to getting one. The next day, both of us ended up staying home from work because we weren't feeling well. By the afternoon, both of us were feeling a little better, and I managed to convince him to go out and get a tree and some decorations. So I trekked up to Tysons and we went out to both Wally World and Target together and he got a tree and a handful of ornaments. We went back to his place and he set it up in front of his sliding glass door and pretty much made me decorate all of it because "men don't decorate." Whatevs - I love decorating trees, so I had a fantastic time. When we were done, he took a few pictures of the tree he swore he wasn't going to get, and then decided he needed to watch a Christmas movie, so we settled in with National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Fantastic :)

Decorating his tree really made me want to put mine up. On Tuesday, Lusty Lulu was over and I managed to convince him to help me haul my extremely heavy tree up from the basement and help me get the huge thing set up in its base. NOT an easy task... but it was about a billion times easier with Lusty Lulu's help. Last year, I had to do it all by myself... not awesome. It was a much more enjoyable process this year. Lusty Lulu, being a man, also refused to decorate, but he stuck around and watched tv to keep me company while I put up ornaments.

I always love putting up my ornaments. I have a huge box full of ones that I've had since I was really little. My mom also used to get me an ornament for my birthday every year, so my tree kind of looks like Hallmark threw up all over it. I love going through all the boxes, because a lot of them bring up a lot of memories. Like the red apple ornament. It's just this little apple that someone hand wrote "1990" and "Bernice" on. My mom apparently found it somewhere and it's hung proudly on our tree ever since. I have no idea who Bernice is, but she can rest easy knowing her apple ornament has been loved since she lost it.

On Friday, I finally made it out to get my new ornaments for this year. My mom may have stopped getting me a new one, but I pick something up every year. I usually go to Hallmark, but since it was so late I figured the selection there would be pretty slim, so I went to Target instead. I knew they had some good stuff after shopping earlier in the week with that certain someone, so I was pretty confident I would come away with some good stuff. I ended up getting a lot more than I was planning on. I found a great E initial ornament that I just couldn't pass up. And i picked up a Redskins football - can you believe that this is my first Redskins ornament?! How can that be?! I of course grabbed another UVA ornament, too - can't have too many of those! (I'd like to point out that Target had LOTS of different UVA options, and not one tek ornament was in sight. YAAAAY! Target!!! Officially my new favorite store!) My official new ornament this year was actually a pair because I couldn't see getting one without the other. I found a Grinch ornament with a big heart, and one of his cute dog. So I got both (because really, how do you choose??) and they're now hanging together. YAY for my finished tree :) I'll post pictures once I pull them all off my camera.

I was talking to that certain someone while I was shopping at Target and putting up my new ornaments. He invited me over to watch Rudolph, and I was SUPER excited because that's one of the best Christmas movies ever. The man who hates Christmas then decided that he was going to take me out to Bull Run Park for the Festival of Lights. It's basically this huge display of different Christmas lights that you drive through. YAY! for Christmas lights!!

So I rushed up to Tysons and we headed out to Bull Run Park. We were driving through enjoying the lights (and questioning some of the themes...) when we started to hear gun shots. Lots of gun shots. Not exactly what you expect to hear when you're looking at lights and listening to Christmas music courtesy of 97.1's non-stop holiday playlist. We both started to get a little concerned, as the gun shots seemed to be getting louder and it was pretty constant. Then we rolled past the Bull Run Park gun range. AWESOME. Maybe they should warn people when they buy their tickets that they'll be driving past a gun range and to not be alarmed at the constant gun fire they'll hear while enjoying the lights. But maybe that just makes too much sense....

After enjoying the rest of the Festival of Lights, he took me through the super rich areas around his apartment because at this time last year they were all super decked out for Christmas. Sadly, the rich people have been a little lazy this season, and NONE of them had decorated yet :( Hopefully they'll get off their asses soon, and we can go back and check it all out. I LOVE looking at Christmas lights, and I'm dying to see what the richy riches do to decorate those huge houses they live in.

We ended up back at his apartment and watched Rudolph, which was awesome because it's been a few years since I last saw that movie. Good times!!! :)

The Christmas season has gotten off to a great start :) Now I just need to bake some cookies, try to convince my mom to put up a tree for the first time in a few years, and make it downtown to see the tree by the white house. I didn't get to do that last year and it made me really sad... felt like Christmas wasn't quite complete or something. Hopefully I can go out and see all those huge houses all decorated, too. I'm also trying to convince that certain someone to take me to see the Nutcracker, but I know I've got a snowball's chance in hell of that working out for me... but hey, a girl can try, right? :-P

Saturday, December 5, 2009

23rd Birthday (2009 Version) - Part 3

So I'm a little late posting this... sorry....

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving was the last part of my awesome 23rd birthday. A certain someone had asked me a few times what I wanted for my birthday, so I eventually sent him an email that said all I really wanted to do was go somewhere. He called me a little after getting the email and we decided to take a day trip up to Luray to see the Caverns and whatever else the little town had to offer. Through some fanagaling on my part, I also convinced him it would be a super good idea to go wine tasting while we were out there.

He had that Tuesday off from work, I took a vacation day and we headed out. The day didn't start off too well... originally, the weather was supposed to be fantastic (60s and sunny), but the icky rain that rolled through on Monday didn't move as fast as the weather goons thought it would, so it ended up being overcast and only in the 50s. Boo. Talking on Monday, he had told me that if I got to his place one minute later than 10 am, he was going to leave without me. Clearly, this is a problem since I'm frequently 15 minutes late for anything other than a movie. Tuesday was no different, and I got out the door later than I wanted to... but still in plenty of time. Or so I thought. The HOV lanes on 95 were totally jacked up (and the regular lanes were just fine. F me.), so that part of the trip took way longer than it should have. And apparently everyone and their brother was late for work that day, so 495 was super traffic-y. He called me at some point during this horrible journey and pretty much made fun of me and constantly threatened to leave since I was running late. Not very nice of him.

Around 10:30, I finally rolled up to his place, and we were able to leave. We trekked out to Luray and had a great time going through the Caverns. We both had cameras, and we both hate having our picture taken, so it was a bit of a fight over that all day. In going through all the photos, we both ended up with a handful of pictures of each other taking a picture. Wonderful. I also ended up with a bunch of him driving with his hand up blocking his face. I totally don't get why he's so uncooperative with this. Boo to him.

Anyhoo.... after the Caverns, we went through the awesome car museum, then headed into the big hedge maze. When you go through that, they give you little "mission cards" where you have go to find these little stands and get stamps. We decided to play along, and spent forever trying to find all four stands and then get out of the freaking thing. I was beginning to think we were going to be stuck in there forever, but we eventually made our way out. Go us.

After that, we checked out what dining options good ole Luray had to offer. We ended up at the Southern Station Diner, which was this hott little place in a double wide. Haha... gotta love Lu-ray! He was wearing his Redskins hat (as usual), and our first interaction with the waitress/hostess was.... special. She walked up to us .... no hello or ANYTHING... just looked right at him and said "how 'bout them cowboys." RUDE! He looked a little... horrified, but realized he couldn't say much after just losing to Dallas. She then looked at me and asked if I was a Dallas fan. I immediately threw up in my mouth. After all this unpleasantness, however, we ended up having a great lunch in the double-wide. Food was pretty good, and the cowgirls fan turned out to be pretty nice.

We then headed out for a winery he had found in a town between Luray and home. I think the best part of the whole day was how all I had to do was show up. He'd figured out the logistics of the whole day, found a winery, etc. I'm used to having to plan and figure out every last detail, only then to have someone complain about what we're doing. Just going along for the ride is fantastic :)

He programmed the address of the winery into his gps, and we had this wonderful message pop up. Hahaha... you know you're in the country when...... luckily, we were able to say that we wanted to stay on paved roads, so everything turned out ok. And despite the overcast weather, the views out there were still really pretty, so I was very excited to get to the winery. We originally wanted to enjoy part of skyline drive, but we ended up being a little pressed for time, so we had to skip that on this trip. Next time we head out that way I think we're going to check it out... hopefully the weather will be better.

We got close to the winery and started heading up this big mountain. From what I could see on the way up, the views were awesome and I couldn't wait to get there. Sadly, about half way up the freaking mountain, we found ourselves smack in the middle of SUPER crazy thick fog. It was so thick we actually missed the entrance to the winery and had to turn around to try and find it. We literally could barely see about 10 feet in front of us, so we decided to skip the winery and come back another day when we could actually see things and enjoy it. Boo for not doing it that day, but YAY for an upcoming trip :)

He wanted to take a big detour on the way home and go through Middleburg, so we spent a while on some awesome back rounds driving through huge farms with big rolling plots of land with mountains in the background. I could totally pick up and move out there tomorrow. SO pretty and peaceful and quiet. He laughed at me when I said that, because apparently wherever we were was a super expensive area, and I'll never be able to afford to rent a room in a barn out there, let alone buy a place. Oh well... a girl can dream, right?

It was a super fantastic day and a great end to the 2009 version of my 23rd birthday. My new camera turned out to be an awesome purchase, and I got lots of awesome photos, too. You can check them all out here.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Its Been a Rough Day

...and it's kind of fitting that it's raining. Sad day :(

Sunday, November 22, 2009

23rd Birthday (2009 Version) - Part 2

Last night was.... out of control is really the only way to describe it.

Lusty Lulu, Inebriated Erin, and I all met at my office to roll over to Silver Diner for a late dinner/pre-game fun. I was a few minutes late, and when I pulled into the parking lot, Lusty Lulu and Inebriated Erin were hanging out in Lusty Lulu's car drinking from a flask. Lusty Lulu had mentioned something about this on the phone when I was explaining why I was late, but I thought he was kidding. Clearly, I was wrong.

We head over to Silver Diner and start drinking (obvi... what else would we do before a hott night out?). We were having a good time... generally minding our own business and being relatively well behaved. When the guys sitting across from us got up and left, out of the clear blue nowhere, one of them said something really snotty to us as he walked by. WTF?! We weren't doing anything. We sat there in stunned silence for a minute, and then Inebriated Erin got pretty pissed and was ready to throw down with this douche in his stupid driving hat. Luckily, there was no rumble in the Silver Diner parking lot.... but he may have ended up leaving a bigger tip than he had originally planned. Whoops.

Lusty Lulu enjoys embarrassing me, so he told our waiter it was my birthday. After we were finished with dinner, the waiter and the rest of the Silver Diner staff came over with a piece of their super delicious chocolate cake and sang happy birthday to me. Now... usually places have their own version of happy birthday, but these guys sang the actual song... so when they got to "happy birthday dear...." everyone looked at me because they didn't know my name... and I had to fill it in myself. It was.... interesting. But the cake was damn good, so it all worked out. And it had a real candle in it, so it was already a step-up from my actual birthday cake, where I blew out two lighters that Lusty Lulu was holding.

When we got out of Silver Diner, we went back to Lusty Lulu's car to finish off his flask of Jack and to figure out what we were going to do for the rest of the night. We were sitting in his car drinking (TOTALLY legit, right??) and hardcore rocking out to his ipod. The car was bouncing around a bit from our dancing, and the windows were starting to fog up. It must have been a hott sight for anyone driving by. I texted a certain someone that I was drinking Jack, and he pretty much knew that this was going to spell disaster for me, so he decided to come out and join us for the night. WOO!

Since he was coming, we decided to stay in the Clizzle Dizzle and went to Mr. Days. I'd never been there before..... but I seriously think it's what heaven must be like. Booze, dancing, and 203832408234 different tvs around the dance floor, all playing various sporting events and sports center. AWESOME. So we started drinking, taking drunk pictures, and totally rocking out, and much fun was had by all. Inebriated Erin got a little toasty, and seemed to take a liking to Lusty Lulu. This was.... interesting, given Lusty Lulu likes the boys and has zero interest in what Inebriated Erin has to offer. I just remember looking at them at one point and seeing Lusty Lulu motorboating away. Good timez.

There was lots of interesting people watching at Mr. Days as well. There was one "girl" that immediately caught everyone's attention... and not in a good way. I say "girl" because we all really really questioned that. There's a picture of "her" in the photo album, so yall can decide for yourself. There was also a faux-hawked bouncer standing on the stairs that totally thought he was the shit. He was standing there in his too-tight tshirt and his itty bitty little flash light thinking he was god's gift to pretty much everyone in the room. Was he cute? In a drunk haze... yes. Was he the hot shit he thought he was? Absolutely not. He seemed to think he was crazy important and powerful with that little flash light of his... woulda been funny to see just what he would have done with it should people have gotten a little rowdy. There were also a lot of girls running around in very tight, very short, very 1980s dresses... apparently I missed the memo that these were cool again.

Sadly, last call rolled around and we all had to stumble out the door. We walked Inebriated Erin back to the metro, since she wasn't quite sure how to get there. As we were leaving Mr. Days, we passed the douche from Silver Diner. Lusty Lulu noticed it was him, but Inebriated Erin didn't. Thank goodness... I'm sure she would have wanted to shank him with a sharpened toothbrush if she'd seen him. She did decide that my bra needed to come off, and tried to facilitate that while we were walking. I think this is how she missed spotting the douche. Trying to defend my bra was something I wasn't expecting to have to do, and it was most definitely an experience.

We got Inebriated Erin on the metro and headed back to the cars. I grabbed some stuff out of mine, and a certain someone had to play chauffeur for my drunk ass, as I'd had way WAY too much to drink... especially for my super low tolerance. Despite starting off the evening saying his goal was to have to pick up his car in the morning, Lusty Lulu was able to get himself home on his own.

The only real downside of the evening was learning before heading to bed that I'd lost one of my most favorite earrings :( I'm still crazy upset by this, and I'm not sure how I'm going to function between now and whenever they get replaced :(

I did wake up bright and early at 7:30 this morning with a wicked headache, so I stumbled out of bed and took some advil and passed out again. That and a super delicious breakfast provided by a certain someone helped ease the hangover, and I was able to drive myself home just fine (YAY! for my car still being there today!!).

I spent today recovering while watching a less-than-thrilling Skins/Cowgirls game. I'm super crazy looking forward to Tuesday and my trip up to Luray and skyline drive and the surrounding area with a certain someone. Should be a fantastic end to a fun birthday!! :)

Click here for all the fun and interesting photos from the past few days.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

23rd Birthday (2009 Version) - Part 1

So the first half of my long drawn out birthday extravaganza is over, and it's been a pretty good time so far.

It all started Thursday night... after work, almost everyone at the office came out for a fun dinner at Faccia Luna. Lusty Lulu met us there, and we sat around talking and laughing and enjoying some super yummo pizza. Manic Mike came over as we were wrapping up dinner, and it was soooooo good to see him!!! We all suuuper miss him at work - it's been a lot more working and a lot less field tripping since he left :( After dinner, most everyone decided to go home - including Irresistible Inez. Big BOO to them. But Shern and Brenders came with me, Lusty Lulu, and Manic Mike over to the awesome Chinese joint that has $4 32 oz beers during happy hour. WOO! We get there and I told the bartender it was my birthday and asked if I could have a free beer. The response? "You'd be surprised at how often I get asked that! ...No." Haha... ouch. She then cards me. It was around this time that I realized I left my ID in my car. Shit. Apparently, my old ass now looks old, because she ended up serving me anyway. Not sure if that was a good or bad thing.

We all hung out for a bit, and much fun was had. After a while, Shern and Brenders left, and Lusty Lulu, Manic Mike, and I stayed and kept drinking. Enter Argyle Sweater Man. He was standing behind me at the bar all by his lonesome and was very into his iphone. Manic Mike decided that he needed to know this guy's story, so I turned around, tapped him on the arm, and basically asked "sooooooo what's your deal?" because, ya know, that's totally appropriate. We ended up talking to this guy for a while. Turns out, all his friends were over an hour late and he was apparently feeling a little lonely and abandoned. Manic Mike decided at some point that he was totally done with Argyle Sweater Man, and kept trying to find ways to get out of the conversation. His friend showed up, and Manic Mike thought we were saved.... but he kept right on talking with us. So Manic Mike decided to mention something about his partner, hoping the gay would scare off Argyle Sweater Man. Didn't work. So then he said something about me having a boyfriend and I have never in my life seen someone peace out of a conversation so quickly. Manic Mike was thrilled with his skills.

So the three of us continued to hang out... Manic Mike got a little drunkity drunk drunk, and the conversation was naturally hilarious. The bartender who denied me a free $4 beer gave me a free shot when I cashed out my tab. Awesome. Too bad I don't really drink shots. Eventually, Manic Mike's man showed up, and I was so excited that I finally got to meet him! All in all, a super fantabulous evening :)

Yesterday, on my actual birthday, I was less than thrilled to be working. I mean, does anyone really want to work on their birthday?! I got into the office and was greeted by an email from an old client who remembered and wanted to say happy birthday. Definitely got things off to a good start! I went out with Irresistible Inez to run some errands for the office, and get some coffee and a bagel, all of which was great because we were out of the building. Shortly after returning to the office, I got a surprise from a client, which was super nice, and then a delivery showed up! One of the members said she had signed for something at the front desk, and brought over these super GORGE pink flowers! YAY! for flower deliveries at the office!! Seriously - flowers at work where you can show them off and make everyone else jealous is one of the best ways to make a girl feel really special.

My flower joy was short lived, however. I got word that someone had found a "bug" on one of my clients, and I had to go do a bed bug check at his house. NOT what I wanted to spend my birthday doing. Luckily, there were no signs of bed bugs at his place, so it all ended up working out. After the bed bug scare, I returned the car to carpool and gave George a hard time about sticking me with a gross prius on my birthday (he almost always gives me one of the pimp impalas, but claimed they were unavailable for the week). My bitching ended up securing us an SUV for the short week next week! WOO! Can't wait to pick that up!

After work (and very carefully transporting my flowers home), I met Inebriated Erin and saw The Blind Side. FANTASTIC MOVIE! I cried "like a little girl" as someone put it, but it was totally worth it. Inebriated Erin and I met up with Lusty Lulu after the movie, and my mom took all of us to dinner at Red Robbin. We seriously had the bitchiest waitress EVER. She'd get pissed when you asked for a refill of your soda, and every time she brought me one she wouldn't even look at me. WTF. My mom rolled up carrying a bag of about 2038434 different wrapped boxes. She started shaking them and handing them to me one by one, and when it was all said and done, I had gotten the movie Up (woo!), a check (WOO!), a deck of cards, a slap bracelet, and magnet football photo frames. Ummm.... ok.... ? Interesting.

After some embarrassing singing by the Red Robbin wait staff, we came back here to have cake. Now, there are specific rules about my birthday cakes every year. They have to be children's cakes, no theme can be repeated, and there has to be some sort of keepsake. When we were discussing this year's cake, I reminded my mom that last year was My Little Pony, so I needed something different this year. Somehow, she heard "last year was My Little Pony, and I demand the EXACT SAME CAKE this year." So that's what I ended up with. Totally the opposite of what I said, but that's ok... because it's pink and My Little Pony is pretty awesome.

After yummy cake, I went over to a certain someone's place and we ended up going out to Friday's because he hadn't had dinner yet. He ate, and we both enjoyed some delicious beer. mmmmmmmmmmmmm beer. The highlight of that trip was the rumble that we almost witnessed in the parking lot. Awesome.

The chill end to last night has bled into today, and I've pretty much done a whole lot of nothing. It's been fantastic. I thought my Hoos were going to pull off some kind of miracle win, buuut they're not looking so great here in the 2nd half. Sadness. On tap for tonight is a late dinner with Inebriated Erin and Lusty Lulu, then some dancing out somewhere. Stay tuned for what I'm sure will be great stories and photos!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Maryland Terps are Douche Bags

Those of you who know me know of my total and utter disdain and complete lack of respect for hokie athletics. (For those of you who don't know me.... that's a story for another time.) Knowing this, I realize you'd be hard pressed to believe that I could possibly abhor a program more so than I do tek's (yes, that's right... I busted out the a word)... but, my friends, there is such a program.


Yes, our neighbors to the north have generated much wrath from me over the years. Let's revisit, shall we?

1. In 2002, the Fridge called us and Dook "guaranteed wins" at the start of the season. First of all, real classy move there, Fridge. Who does that?! Second, that "guaranteed win" went on to beat his ass 48-13. It was a glorious game. As a student, I of course was enjoying the slaughter from the student section with my friends. Right next to me was a group of about 8 or so twerps, who were all very much past their college years. Naturally, the close proximity of some twerps got me going a little, and we exchanged several less-than-pleasant comments. But this is to be expected... it is football, after all. After murrland came out, quickly marched down the field, and put 7 on the board, they sort of completely forgot how to play football and the ass kicking commenced. It goes without saying that the comments from me and Awesome Adogg only increased, but again... don't come hang out in my house and start some shit if you can't take it back. Before halftime, the twerps had long run out of things they could trash talk about, as their team had been lying limp on the field for about 25 minutes. So they began attacking me personally. Yes, that's right. 30-somethings began attacking me personally because their team sucked ass. WHO DOES THAT?! Real classy, guys. Your parents must be so proud.

2. Jump ahead to the following year. It was my 4th year, and the game against the twerps was up in college park. The 4th year class got a bus together and offered seats to students, so of course my roommate and I jumped on this. Our seats were literally like 5 rows from the top of the stadium, and there were several empty rows between us and the next closest people. We were minding our own business, cheering on our Hoos (which clearly wasn't making a spit of difference given how far away we were from the field), and the 40-somethings several rows in front of us decided to take issue with our love of the Hoos and they began attacking us. Again I say - WTF. As a visitor, I would of course expect some good-natured ribbing from the home team, but what these MEN (not teenagers or college students, but MEN who I'm presuming had to get up and go to work Monday-Friday and support themselves, families, etc) did went well beyond that. It was disgusting and completely ruined the experience for us. Late into the game, about 10 rows down from us, numerous twerps were escorted from the game by the po because they had gotten into a fist fight with each other while arguing over the Redskins and the Ravens. Yes, that's right. They were arrested for fighting over something that had nothing to do with the event they were at. After the game, a very drunk, belligerent girl rudely attempted to board our bus and became very vulgar with us when we wouldn't let her on (this was after she peed in the parking lot in front of stopped traffic). After returning home to the safety of Charlottesville, I learned that during the game, twerps had broken into Wilk Hall's RV (they're a group of hardcore Hoo fans that travel to all the games) and completely trashed it. The RV was not drivable and the entire group was completely stranded in the parking lot. Again I say - CLASSY.

3. While I was watching a non-uva murrland home game on television, a visiting player got hurt and was lying on the field while medical staff attended to him. It was a nasty hit, and no one was sure of the extent of the injuries. Now... any good sports fan knows that when a player is down like that on the field, whether he be your boy or an opponent, you respectfully stand there and don't say a whole lot until you know if he's ok. When he gets up and moves off the field, you clap, because football's a dangerous game and you're happy he's not dead or completely paralyzed. Is this was murrland fans chose to do? NOPE. They used this opportunity to start a loud and inappropriate chant. I guess they were really excited that their team may have permanently injured a young kid.

4. Inebriated Erin told me a wonderful story about when she was in 9th grade (which made her youngest sister about 7 years old). Both of her parents are wonderful Wahoos, so they took Inebriated Erin and her three younger sisters to a UVA-Murrland game in College Park. The twerps around them were so inappropriate and belligerent that her mom took all of them out of the stadium and they left the game early. Again, I understand it's a football game and people are drinking, and you have to expect some level of inappropriateness, etc, but the twerps sitting around them went well beyond what was even sort of inappropriate. Nice.

5. There was an unfortunate Hoo who attended a game at Murrland and ended up in the front row of the student section. She was not loud or obnoxious, nor did she say anything to anyone around her. She simply stood there quietly watching the game in a jersey for one of our players. The twerps around her did not afford her the same level of respect that she gave them. They threw things at her, and yelled at her personally to the point where she had to leave the game. Awesome.

As if all of that wasn't bad enough.... I heard a story yesterday that seriously just takes the cake.

6. Lusty Lulu scored himself a ticket to the vah tek-murrland game a few days ago, and was so excited he could barely contain himself. He had plans to have a very inappropriate tshirt made, but decided he would skip that, as he did not want to land himself in PG county jail... as he knew the shirt would incite violence from the twerps near him. He and his cHokie friends tailgated and I'm sure got nice and toasty, and headed into the game. While I have no doubt that they were doing their fair share of dishing to the twerps seated around them, someone in front of Lusty Lulu said perhaps the most inappropriate and offensive thing I have ever heard. He turned around and looked right at Lusty Lulu and his friends and said "you know what Virginia Tech leads the nation in? Mass murders." WOW. There really are no words for that. Honestly... WHO SAYS THAT?! Needless to say, Lusty Lulu had to be physically restrained.... and that guy was eventually kicked out of the game. Shocker.

So yes my friends... murrland twerps are douche bags. I still abhor tek with every fiber of my soul, but I must say I have never had a bad experience as a visitor at a tek sporting event. Murrland seems to find new and creative ways to one-up themselves in the douche column every time I learn a new story about them. Bravo, twerps. Bravo.

And to all the twerps out there who may be reading this.... you can spare me your bullshit. Because unless you can tell me a handful of stories that even remotely compare to these (especially the last one), I won't give a rats ass about what you have to say.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Hott Facebook Survey that I've Decided to Post Here

I pulled this off of facebook.... but instead of re-posting it there, I've decided to do it here... to share it with the 2 extra people who may stumble upon it.

1. What is your occupation? According to my payslip, I'm a "mental health worker." What that translates to in English is "case manager."

2. What color are your socks right now? it's summer - I only wear flip flops unless I'm hiking

3. What are you listening to right now? Elliot in the Morning

4. Can you drive a stick shift? Not at all. Texas tried to teach me, but I couldn't even back out of the parking space. Sad.

5. What was the last thing that you ate? french vanilla cappuccino from 7-11. If that doesn't count, we'll have to go to last night... and the last thing I had was a sugar free 60 calorie double chocolate jello pudding cup.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? PINK! duh.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? hmmmmm... I left a vm for someone who works with a client a little bit ago... does that count? if it doesn't, I talked to my mom earlier about a funky accident my step dad got into.

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? no one technically sent it to me. I stole it from Krissy, who rudely didn't tag me in it.

9. How old are you today? 24. I swear. My last birthday cake said so, so it's obviously the truth.

10. Favorite drink? what kind of drink are we talking about? normal, day-time appropriate drink? I'm a fan of borning water, and strawberry orange banana crystal light. oh, and fresh squeeze lemonade. for more scandalous drinks, I love me some margaritas, and fuck n' fucks from the Corner bars down in Charlottesville are the bomb diggity.

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? OMG. Can't pick a favorite - Redskins and Jags football, Wahoo everything, non-Wahoo college football and basketball if I have something invested in the game (haha.. could be as simple as I'm in some sort of pick 'em thing and I want to see if I picked right), Nats and Yankees baseball, Caps hockey

12. Have you ever colored your hair? yep. went red several times back in the day.

13. What is your full name? haha.. my middle name will remain a mystery for those of you who don't know it (which should be most of you, because I rarely share that type of information)

14. Favorite food? things that are terrible for me - grilled cheese, burgers, pizza, mozzerella sticks, french fries, chocolate, garlic bread..... i also super love grilled chicken. YAY! for one healthy thing!

15. Last movie you watched? The Proposal on a date night with Erin

16. Favorite Day of the year? Christmas!

17. What do you do to vent anger? talk/vent

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? when I was super little it was my "pink rabbie." When I got a little older it was my bugs bunny stuffed animal. I was also super attached to my cabbage patch kid Emery George, and then I got that doll where you didn't know if it was a boy or a girl until you disolved the hospital gown in water (anyone remember these???). I got TWINS, so I got to send away for a 2nd one, which was identical to the first one except one had an innie and one had an outie. I named them Nicole and Jennifer. I was a bad mom and I definitely preferred one over the other.

19. What is your favorite season? SPRING!

20. Hugs or kisses? both :) although sometimes... there's nothing like a really good hug

21. Cherry or Blueberry? can I pick strawberry?

22. Do you want your friends to post back? Sure, reading them will give me something to do

23. Who is most likely to respond? probably no one, as I'm not officially posting this on facebook

24. Who is least likely to respond? I'm also not tagging anyone..

25. When was the last time you cried? ugh. last week. it wasn't pretty.

26. What is on the floor of your closet? umm... an air jordan box... and probaby some clothes.

27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? i'm not sending this to anyone

28. Who is the friend you have known the shortest that you are sending this to? ditto above

29. Favorite smells? vanilla, cherry blossom, magnolia, lilac... basically a lot of flower smells... the beach, things baking in the oven

30. Inspires You? when my clients do awesome things :)

31. What are you afraid of? OMG everything! spiders and bugs of all kinds, the dark to some minor extent, enclosed spaces, being alone, failure

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? never spicy... depends on the day between plain or cheese

33. Favorite car? I heart my car :) but if we're talking dream here, 1968 red mustang drop top, or an aston martin :)

34. Favorite cat breed? very much NOT a cat person

35. Number of keys on your key ring? hmmm... house key, car key, mail key, key to my mom's... that may be it. then i have a separate work key ring with ... 4 keys... and I don't know what one of them goes to.

36. How many years at your current job? started Oct 27.... sooo not even a year yet

37. Favorite day of the week? Friday

Monday, July 13, 2009

much needed update

so its been like a million and a half years since i last updated..... whoops.

i went to the beach this past weekend with Irresistible Inez and we had a freaking BLAST!! we decided to go on a road trip down to Va Beach, and it couldn't have been a better day. on the way down, we made a few friends in the cars next to us. the first (and best) was a kia with two guys in the front (aaaand apparently a girl in the back... took us a while to notice her). thanks to some waving and a little boob action (haha... clothed boob action... i am a lady), we scored ourselves an invite to the outer banks with them!

after about 3 hours, we finally made it down to the beach!! We chillaxed on the beach for like five hours, which was hot, sunny, and GLORIOUS! The people watching was a bit painful, though.... most of the people around us needed lots more clothing. however, we made the wonderful decision to camp out near the lifeguard stand, so the three guys that worked in shifts throughout the day were yummy enough to make up for the other uggos.

after relaxing on the beach, we walked 19 blocks down the boardwalk, and then back up on the street side, popping in and out of the various stores (haha... which all sold the same thing). We came back with some Virginia Beach booty shorts, shot glasses, pink kayne glasses, and a hermit crab named Herman (who pinched me last night... not very nice of him). we got an eh dinner, and then finished walking back to the car. along the way, we saw some suuuuuuuper ghettoness, funky people, and nerdy star wars characters. and a street musician sang a little song about me and my new crab (true story. she's got crabs.... she's got a hermit crab.....) after sitting in some HORRIBLE traffic on the most poorly designed road on the planet, we were finally able to start towards home. even though it was late and dark, we had a great return trip, full of good music, Manic Mike-style car dancing, and BLANCHE. all in all, it was a FABOOSH day and i'm desperately trying to convince people to go down with me again :)

the pictures have been uploaded to webshots, so check them out :)

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Arlington: The Rap

just a little ditty about the gangsta place that i work....

Thursday, June 4, 2009


I would just like to take a minute to say hello to the person who has checked in here several times from Belgium. Hi :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A wet and clammy morning

So, here at the county, we're not allowed to transport clients in our own vehicles. Awesome, except that means we have to get county cars - they don't let us keep one here for more than a week. They should, but they don't.... anyhoo....

I had to take a client somewhere today, so I asked one of my wonderful fellow case managers to take me over to carpool so I could pick up our car for the week. Now... it's SUPER nasty outside. Cold, but muggy, wet, raining... just icky.

I jump out of my coworkers car and sort of run ("sort of" because I don't actually run anywhere) up to the building. I step up onto the curb and BAM! down I go. The front of the building seems to be some sort of painted concrete, which is extremely slippery when wet, especially when combined with flip flops.

I picked my wet self up off the ground, and discovered my brand new purse was soaked, as were my jeans. The ass, the bottoms down near my feet (and about a good 6-8 inches above my feet), and the knee area where I landed. NAST. I hate wet jeans more than ANYTHING... and this was.... HORRID.

So I carefully walked into the building and wiped my feet off on the mat just inside the door, then carefully waddled down to carpool, feeling absolutely disgusting. I popped into a bathroom to see if they had a hand dryer on the wall - no such luck. Odd, since Arlington County is very "green" - you'd think they'd frown on paper towels.

I get down to carpool and tell George my tale of woe. He told me to fill out an accident report and GO HOME and change. Sadly, since I live forEVER away, that wasn't an option. When I turned to walk away towards the car, George started laughing and said "you suuuuuuuure did fall!" letting me know my ass looked just as wet as it felt.

I got down to the car and I was seriously dreading having to sit down on my soaking pants. Soooo... once I located the car, I thought it would be really cool and awesome to strip in the garage next to the car and sit down in my skivvies. Since this is the garage where 2035720349823 county cars are housed, I'm sure I was caught on 20357203489203570239582305734 security cameras doing this hottness. I turned the heater on full blast and attempted to dry my pants using the vents. This was an epic fail. All I successfully managed to do after 15 min was make my pants cold and clammy. Since I had a home visit I had to get to (and a doctor's appointment after that), I had to put my nast jeans back on. I attempted to do this in the car to save alllllllllllllll of me from being caught on tape again... but this was fairly difficult, and I ended up having to get out of the car. Lovely. Sitting back down was seriously seriously SERIOUSLY horrendous, and driving back to the office was one of the worst experiences of my life.

I got back here looking like a drowned rat, and told my tale of woe to various coworkers, who of course found it funny as shit. When I had a few free minutes, I called Texas, who told me probably the best thing I'd heard all morning - "well, you don't have to worry about going to the bathroom. You can just pee in your pants and blame it on the puddle you fell in." WELL, thank god we found the silver lining!!

So yeah... that's my tale for the day. Enjoy. Laugh. And remember - if you fall in a puddle, at least you can pee in your pants.

Friday, May 8, 2009


Just noticed I had a new follower. HOTTNESS! Just wanted to say hello!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


I've really gotten into hockey this postseason. I know what you're thinking - no, its not just because the Caps are in the playoffs. Hockey is a sport that I should love - it has all the required elements. For whatever reason, it's just escaped me all these years.

Until now.

I must say, though, I find watching hockey to be EXTREMELY stressful. Sure, it's the playoffs and that adds some stress to the situation, but I enjoy post season play in all the other sports I follow, and I don't find it anywhere near this stressful on this consistent basis. I'm not sure what it is... I kinda feel like hockey play is extremely chaotic. Perhaps that's why I find it stressful.

All that being said.... GO CAPS!!!! C-A-P-S CAPS CAPS CAPS!!!!!!!!!!!

FREE KFC Grilled Chicken from Oprah!

WOO! FREE GRILLED CHICKEN! Oprah is giving us a free KFC grilled chicken coupon!! I've heard this shizz is pretty good... so i'll have go to check it out!

Coupon is good for 2 pieces of grilled chicken, 2 sides and biscuit - all for free! WOOHOO!

A piece of grilled chicken breast only has 180 cal. AWESOME. I'm sure that biscuit will ruin the awesome low-cal meal, buuuut that's ok :-P

Use this link. You'll have to click on several different things, and install some coupon printer. But it's all good :) I had some issues and got an error message several times... just keep trying :)


Friday, February 20, 2009

Oscars Drinking Game

It's time for the Academy Awards, which means it's time for the Academy Awards Drinking Game! So go to the liquor store, pick your poison, and sack up for the game! Which, in my humble opinion, has to be one of the best drinking games ever invented.

For E!s Pre Show:

- One drink every time someone trips (2 if they actually fall)
- Two drinks for every nip slip
- Finish whatev you're drinking for a coveted vajayjay exposure
- One drink every time Ryan Seacrest forgets to ask "who are you wearing"
- One drink every time someone mentions what diamond whore supplied their jewelry
- Two drinks every time Ryan makes an ass out of himself (ie: asking Jessica MISERalba if she was planning on breast feeding, trying to high five a blind guy, etc)
- One drink every time someone snubs Ryan (5 if it's Brangelina)
- One drink if you've never heard of whoev Ryan is interviewing
- One drink every time someone wears something fug
- Three drinks if Cameron "Pizza Face" Diaz shows up looking like she just rolled out of bed and pulled a dress out from under a huge pile in her closet
- Three drinks if there is an unruly moment (a la Gary Busey attacking Jennifer Garner)
- If the rumors are true and both Jen Aniston and St. Angie Jo are going to be at the Oscars, drink everything in your house if they actually run in to each other. and then take cover, because the world is obviously about to end.

For the Oscars

**The previous rules RE tripping, nipples, vajayjays, and Cameron "Pizza Face" Diaz still apply**

- One drink every time they show Brangelina in the audience for no apparent reason
- One drink every time someone thanks the Academy
- One drink every time someone thanks God
- One drink every time someone tells their kids to go to bed
- One drink every time someone pulls out a prepared speech
- One drink each if Brad and Angie lose (two if they win)
- Three drinks if St. Angie busts out her cunt face when someone else wins best actress
- Two drinks if someone cusses (three if someone flips the bird)
- One drink every time Slumdog wins an award (two if they actually lose one)
- One drink if anyone changes their outfit
- Two drink for any douchebaggy guests/presenters
- Five drinks if the rumors of Zac Efron singing in the opening number turn out to be true
- One drink every time someone cries
-Two drinks if someone names their fellow nominees (five if they forgot Angie was one of them)
- One drink every time someone flubs a line
- One drink during the tribute to honor those who have died in the last year (take an extra drink for every actor the Academy snubs and forgets to put into the tribute)

There ya go! Remember, bitches. This is a marathon, not a sprint. So choose your poison carefully. With any luck, you'll be too blitzed to realize how horrible and boring the show is! Happy drinking!