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Friday, February 20, 2009

Oscars Drinking Game

It's time for the Academy Awards, which means it's time for the Academy Awards Drinking Game! So go to the liquor store, pick your poison, and sack up for the game! Which, in my humble opinion, has to be one of the best drinking games ever invented.

For E!s Pre Show:

- One drink every time someone trips (2 if they actually fall)
- Two drinks for every nip slip
- Finish whatev you're drinking for a coveted vajayjay exposure
- One drink every time Ryan Seacrest forgets to ask "who are you wearing"
- One drink every time someone mentions what diamond whore supplied their jewelry
- Two drinks every time Ryan makes an ass out of himself (ie: asking Jessica MISERalba if she was planning on breast feeding, trying to high five a blind guy, etc)
- One drink every time someone snubs Ryan (5 if it's Brangelina)
- One drink if you've never heard of whoev Ryan is interviewing
- One drink every time someone wears something fug
- Three drinks if Cameron "Pizza Face" Diaz shows up looking like she just rolled out of bed and pulled a dress out from under a huge pile in her closet
- Three drinks if there is an unruly moment (a la Gary Busey attacking Jennifer Garner)
- If the rumors are true and both Jen Aniston and St. Angie Jo are going to be at the Oscars, drink everything in your house if they actually run in to each other. and then take cover, because the world is obviously about to end.

For the Oscars

**The previous rules RE tripping, nipples, vajayjays, and Cameron "Pizza Face" Diaz still apply**

- One drink every time they show Brangelina in the audience for no apparent reason
- One drink every time someone thanks the Academy
- One drink every time someone thanks God
- One drink every time someone tells their kids to go to bed
- One drink every time someone pulls out a prepared speech
- One drink each if Brad and Angie lose (two if they win)
- Three drinks if St. Angie busts out her cunt face when someone else wins best actress
- Two drinks if someone cusses (three if someone flips the bird)
- One drink every time Slumdog wins an award (two if they actually lose one)
- One drink if anyone changes their outfit
- Two drink for any douchebaggy guests/presenters
- Five drinks if the rumors of Zac Efron singing in the opening number turn out to be true
- One drink every time someone cries
-Two drinks if someone names their fellow nominees (five if they forgot Angie was one of them)
- One drink every time someone flubs a line
- One drink during the tribute to honor those who have died in the last year (take an extra drink for every actor the Academy snubs and forgets to put into the tribute)

There ya go! Remember, bitches. This is a marathon, not a sprint. So choose your poison carefully. With any luck, you'll be too blitzed to realize how horrible and boring the show is! Happy drinking!

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