Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A wet and clammy morning

So, here at the county, we're not allowed to transport clients in our own vehicles. Awesome, except that means we have to get county cars - they don't let us keep one here for more than a week. They should, but they don't.... anyhoo....

I had to take a client somewhere today, so I asked one of my wonderful fellow case managers to take me over to carpool so I could pick up our car for the week. Now... it's SUPER nasty outside. Cold, but muggy, wet, raining... just icky.

I jump out of my coworkers car and sort of run ("sort of" because I don't actually run anywhere) up to the building. I step up onto the curb and BAM! down I go. The front of the building seems to be some sort of painted concrete, which is extremely slippery when wet, especially when combined with flip flops.

I picked my wet self up off the ground, and discovered my brand new purse was soaked, as were my jeans. The ass, the bottoms down near my feet (and about a good 6-8 inches above my feet), and the knee area where I landed. NAST. I hate wet jeans more than ANYTHING... and this was.... HORRID.

So I carefully walked into the building and wiped my feet off on the mat just inside the door, then carefully waddled down to carpool, feeling absolutely disgusting. I popped into a bathroom to see if they had a hand dryer on the wall - no such luck. Odd, since Arlington County is very "green" - you'd think they'd frown on paper towels.

I get down to carpool and tell George my tale of woe. He told me to fill out an accident report and GO HOME and change. Sadly, since I live forEVER away, that wasn't an option. When I turned to walk away towards the car, George started laughing and said "you suuuuuuuure did fall!" letting me know my ass looked just as wet as it felt.

I got down to the car and I was seriously dreading having to sit down on my soaking pants. Soooo... once I located the car, I thought it would be really cool and awesome to strip in the garage next to the car and sit down in my skivvies. Since this is the garage where 2035720349823 county cars are housed, I'm sure I was caught on 20357203489203570239582305734 security cameras doing this hottness. I turned the heater on full blast and attempted to dry my pants using the vents. This was an epic fail. All I successfully managed to do after 15 min was make my pants cold and clammy. Since I had a home visit I had to get to (and a doctor's appointment after that), I had to put my nast jeans back on. I attempted to do this in the car to save alllllllllllllll of me from being caught on tape again... but this was fairly difficult, and I ended up having to get out of the car. Lovely. Sitting back down was seriously seriously SERIOUSLY horrendous, and driving back to the office was one of the worst experiences of my life.

I got back here looking like a drowned rat, and told my tale of woe to various coworkers, who of course found it funny as shit. When I had a few free minutes, I called Texas, who told me probably the best thing I'd heard all morning - "well, you don't have to worry about going to the bathroom. You can just pee in your pants and blame it on the puddle you fell in." WELL, thank god we found the silver lining!!

So yeah... that's my tale for the day. Enjoy. Laugh. And remember - if you fall in a puddle, at least you can pee in your pants.

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