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Monday, November 23, 2009

Its Been a Rough Day

...and it's kind of fitting that it's raining. Sad day :(

Sunday, November 22, 2009

23rd Birthday (2009 Version) - Part 2

Last night was.... out of control is really the only way to describe it.

Lusty Lulu, Inebriated Erin, and I all met at my office to roll over to Silver Diner for a late dinner/pre-game fun. I was a few minutes late, and when I pulled into the parking lot, Lusty Lulu and Inebriated Erin were hanging out in Lusty Lulu's car drinking from a flask. Lusty Lulu had mentioned something about this on the phone when I was explaining why I was late, but I thought he was kidding. Clearly, I was wrong.

We head over to Silver Diner and start drinking (obvi... what else would we do before a hott night out?). We were having a good time... generally minding our own business and being relatively well behaved. When the guys sitting across from us got up and left, out of the clear blue nowhere, one of them said something really snotty to us as he walked by. WTF?! We weren't doing anything. We sat there in stunned silence for a minute, and then Inebriated Erin got pretty pissed and was ready to throw down with this douche in his stupid driving hat. Luckily, there was no rumble in the Silver Diner parking lot.... but he may have ended up leaving a bigger tip than he had originally planned. Whoops.

Lusty Lulu enjoys embarrassing me, so he told our waiter it was my birthday. After we were finished with dinner, the waiter and the rest of the Silver Diner staff came over with a piece of their super delicious chocolate cake and sang happy birthday to me. Now... usually places have their own version of happy birthday, but these guys sang the actual song... so when they got to "happy birthday dear...." everyone looked at me because they didn't know my name... and I had to fill it in myself. It was.... interesting. But the cake was damn good, so it all worked out. And it had a real candle in it, so it was already a step-up from my actual birthday cake, where I blew out two lighters that Lusty Lulu was holding.

When we got out of Silver Diner, we went back to Lusty Lulu's car to finish off his flask of Jack and to figure out what we were going to do for the rest of the night. We were sitting in his car drinking (TOTALLY legit, right??) and hardcore rocking out to his ipod. The car was bouncing around a bit from our dancing, and the windows were starting to fog up. It must have been a hott sight for anyone driving by. I texted a certain someone that I was drinking Jack, and he pretty much knew that this was going to spell disaster for me, so he decided to come out and join us for the night. WOO!

Since he was coming, we decided to stay in the Clizzle Dizzle and went to Mr. Days. I'd never been there before..... but I seriously think it's what heaven must be like. Booze, dancing, and 203832408234 different tvs around the dance floor, all playing various sporting events and sports center. AWESOME. So we started drinking, taking drunk pictures, and totally rocking out, and much fun was had by all. Inebriated Erin got a little toasty, and seemed to take a liking to Lusty Lulu. This was.... interesting, given Lusty Lulu likes the boys and has zero interest in what Inebriated Erin has to offer. I just remember looking at them at one point and seeing Lusty Lulu motorboating away. Good timez.

There was lots of interesting people watching at Mr. Days as well. There was one "girl" that immediately caught everyone's attention... and not in a good way. I say "girl" because we all really really questioned that. There's a picture of "her" in the photo album, so yall can decide for yourself. There was also a faux-hawked bouncer standing on the stairs that totally thought he was the shit. He was standing there in his too-tight tshirt and his itty bitty little flash light thinking he was god's gift to pretty much everyone in the room. Was he cute? In a drunk haze... yes. Was he the hot shit he thought he was? Absolutely not. He seemed to think he was crazy important and powerful with that little flash light of his... woulda been funny to see just what he would have done with it should people have gotten a little rowdy. There were also a lot of girls running around in very tight, very short, very 1980s dresses... apparently I missed the memo that these were cool again.

Sadly, last call rolled around and we all had to stumble out the door. We walked Inebriated Erin back to the metro, since she wasn't quite sure how to get there. As we were leaving Mr. Days, we passed the douche from Silver Diner. Lusty Lulu noticed it was him, but Inebriated Erin didn't. Thank goodness... I'm sure she would have wanted to shank him with a sharpened toothbrush if she'd seen him. She did decide that my bra needed to come off, and tried to facilitate that while we were walking. I think this is how she missed spotting the douche. Trying to defend my bra was something I wasn't expecting to have to do, and it was most definitely an experience.

We got Inebriated Erin on the metro and headed back to the cars. I grabbed some stuff out of mine, and a certain someone had to play chauffeur for my drunk ass, as I'd had way WAY too much to drink... especially for my super low tolerance. Despite starting off the evening saying his goal was to have to pick up his car in the morning, Lusty Lulu was able to get himself home on his own.

The only real downside of the evening was learning before heading to bed that I'd lost one of my most favorite earrings :( I'm still crazy upset by this, and I'm not sure how I'm going to function between now and whenever they get replaced :(

I did wake up bright and early at 7:30 this morning with a wicked headache, so I stumbled out of bed and took some advil and passed out again. That and a super delicious breakfast provided by a certain someone helped ease the hangover, and I was able to drive myself home just fine (YAY! for my car still being there today!!).

I spent today recovering while watching a less-than-thrilling Skins/Cowgirls game. I'm super crazy looking forward to Tuesday and my trip up to Luray and skyline drive and the surrounding area with a certain someone. Should be a fantastic end to a fun birthday!! :)

Click here for all the fun and interesting photos from the past few days.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

23rd Birthday (2009 Version) - Part 1

So the first half of my long drawn out birthday extravaganza is over, and it's been a pretty good time so far.

It all started Thursday night... after work, almost everyone at the office came out for a fun dinner at Faccia Luna. Lusty Lulu met us there, and we sat around talking and laughing and enjoying some super yummo pizza. Manic Mike came over as we were wrapping up dinner, and it was soooooo good to see him!!! We all suuuper miss him at work - it's been a lot more working and a lot less field tripping since he left :( After dinner, most everyone decided to go home - including Irresistible Inez. Big BOO to them. But Shern and Brenders came with me, Lusty Lulu, and Manic Mike over to the awesome Chinese joint that has $4 32 oz beers during happy hour. WOO! We get there and I told the bartender it was my birthday and asked if I could have a free beer. The response? "You'd be surprised at how often I get asked that! ...No." Haha... ouch. She then cards me. It was around this time that I realized I left my ID in my car. Shit. Apparently, my old ass now looks old, because she ended up serving me anyway. Not sure if that was a good or bad thing.

We all hung out for a bit, and much fun was had. After a while, Shern and Brenders left, and Lusty Lulu, Manic Mike, and I stayed and kept drinking. Enter Argyle Sweater Man. He was standing behind me at the bar all by his lonesome and was very into his iphone. Manic Mike decided that he needed to know this guy's story, so I turned around, tapped him on the arm, and basically asked "sooooooo what's your deal?" because, ya know, that's totally appropriate. We ended up talking to this guy for a while. Turns out, all his friends were over an hour late and he was apparently feeling a little lonely and abandoned. Manic Mike decided at some point that he was totally done with Argyle Sweater Man, and kept trying to find ways to get out of the conversation. His friend showed up, and Manic Mike thought we were saved.... but he kept right on talking with us. So Manic Mike decided to mention something about his partner, hoping the gay would scare off Argyle Sweater Man. Didn't work. So then he said something about me having a boyfriend and I have never in my life seen someone peace out of a conversation so quickly. Manic Mike was thrilled with his skills.

So the three of us continued to hang out... Manic Mike got a little drunkity drunk drunk, and the conversation was naturally hilarious. The bartender who denied me a free $4 beer gave me a free shot when I cashed out my tab. Awesome. Too bad I don't really drink shots. Eventually, Manic Mike's man showed up, and I was so excited that I finally got to meet him! All in all, a super fantabulous evening :)

Yesterday, on my actual birthday, I was less than thrilled to be working. I mean, does anyone really want to work on their birthday?! I got into the office and was greeted by an email from an old client who remembered and wanted to say happy birthday. Definitely got things off to a good start! I went out with Irresistible Inez to run some errands for the office, and get some coffee and a bagel, all of which was great because we were out of the building. Shortly after returning to the office, I got a surprise from a client, which was super nice, and then a delivery showed up! One of the members said she had signed for something at the front desk, and brought over these super GORGE pink flowers! YAY! for flower deliveries at the office!! Seriously - flowers at work where you can show them off and make everyone else jealous is one of the best ways to make a girl feel really special.

My flower joy was short lived, however. I got word that someone had found a "bug" on one of my clients, and I had to go do a bed bug check at his house. NOT what I wanted to spend my birthday doing. Luckily, there were no signs of bed bugs at his place, so it all ended up working out. After the bed bug scare, I returned the car to carpool and gave George a hard time about sticking me with a gross prius on my birthday (he almost always gives me one of the pimp impalas, but claimed they were unavailable for the week). My bitching ended up securing us an SUV for the short week next week! WOO! Can't wait to pick that up!

After work (and very carefully transporting my flowers home), I met Inebriated Erin and saw The Blind Side. FANTASTIC MOVIE! I cried "like a little girl" as someone put it, but it was totally worth it. Inebriated Erin and I met up with Lusty Lulu after the movie, and my mom took all of us to dinner at Red Robbin. We seriously had the bitchiest waitress EVER. She'd get pissed when you asked for a refill of your soda, and every time she brought me one she wouldn't even look at me. WTF. My mom rolled up carrying a bag of about 2038434 different wrapped boxes. She started shaking them and handing them to me one by one, and when it was all said and done, I had gotten the movie Up (woo!), a check (WOO!), a deck of cards, a slap bracelet, and magnet football photo frames. Ummm.... ok.... ? Interesting.

After some embarrassing singing by the Red Robbin wait staff, we came back here to have cake. Now, there are specific rules about my birthday cakes every year. They have to be children's cakes, no theme can be repeated, and there has to be some sort of keepsake. When we were discussing this year's cake, I reminded my mom that last year was My Little Pony, so I needed something different this year. Somehow, she heard "last year was My Little Pony, and I demand the EXACT SAME CAKE this year." So that's what I ended up with. Totally the opposite of what I said, but that's ok... because it's pink and My Little Pony is pretty awesome.

After yummy cake, I went over to a certain someone's place and we ended up going out to Friday's because he hadn't had dinner yet. He ate, and we both enjoyed some delicious beer. mmmmmmmmmmmmm beer. The highlight of that trip was the rumble that we almost witnessed in the parking lot. Awesome.

The chill end to last night has bled into today, and I've pretty much done a whole lot of nothing. It's been fantastic. I thought my Hoos were going to pull off some kind of miracle win, buuut they're not looking so great here in the 2nd half. Sadness. On tap for tonight is a late dinner with Inebriated Erin and Lusty Lulu, then some dancing out somewhere. Stay tuned for what I'm sure will be great stories and photos!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Maryland Terps are Douche Bags

Those of you who know me know of my total and utter disdain and complete lack of respect for hokie athletics. (For those of you who don't know me.... that's a story for another time.) Knowing this, I realize you'd be hard pressed to believe that I could possibly abhor a program more so than I do tek's (yes, that's right... I busted out the a word)... but, my friends, there is such a program.

Maryland.

Yes, our neighbors to the north have generated much wrath from me over the years. Let's revisit, shall we?

1. In 2002, the Fridge called us and Dook "guaranteed wins" at the start of the season. First of all, real classy move there, Fridge. Who does that?! Second, that "guaranteed win" went on to beat his ass 48-13. It was a glorious game. As a student, I of course was enjoying the slaughter from the student section with my friends. Right next to me was a group of about 8 or so twerps, who were all very much past their college years. Naturally, the close proximity of some twerps got me going a little, and we exchanged several less-than-pleasant comments. But this is to be expected... it is football, after all. After murrland came out, quickly marched down the field, and put 7 on the board, they sort of completely forgot how to play football and the ass kicking commenced. It goes without saying that the comments from me and Awesome Adogg only increased, but again... don't come hang out in my house and start some shit if you can't take it back. Before halftime, the twerps had long run out of things they could trash talk about, as their team had been lying limp on the field for about 25 minutes. So they began attacking me personally. Yes, that's right. 30-somethings began attacking me personally because their team sucked ass. WHO DOES THAT?! Real classy, guys. Your parents must be so proud.

2. Jump ahead to the following year. It was my 4th year, and the game against the twerps was up in college park. The 4th year class got a bus together and offered seats to students, so of course my roommate and I jumped on this. Our seats were literally like 5 rows from the top of the stadium, and there were several empty rows between us and the next closest people. We were minding our own business, cheering on our Hoos (which clearly wasn't making a spit of difference given how far away we were from the field), and the 40-somethings several rows in front of us decided to take issue with our love of the Hoos and they began attacking us. Again I say - WTF. As a visitor, I would of course expect some good-natured ribbing from the home team, but what these MEN (not teenagers or college students, but MEN who I'm presuming had to get up and go to work Monday-Friday and support themselves, families, etc) did went well beyond that. It was disgusting and completely ruined the experience for us. Late into the game, about 10 rows down from us, numerous twerps were escorted from the game by the po because they had gotten into a fist fight with each other while arguing over the Redskins and the Ravens. Yes, that's right. They were arrested for fighting over something that had nothing to do with the event they were at. After the game, a very drunk, belligerent girl rudely attempted to board our bus and became very vulgar with us when we wouldn't let her on (this was after she peed in the parking lot in front of stopped traffic). After returning home to the safety of Charlottesville, I learned that during the game, twerps had broken into Wilk Hall's RV (they're a group of hardcore Hoo fans that travel to all the games) and completely trashed it. The RV was not drivable and the entire group was completely stranded in the parking lot. Again I say - CLASSY.

3. While I was watching a non-uva murrland home game on television, a visiting player got hurt and was lying on the field while medical staff attended to him. It was a nasty hit, and no one was sure of the extent of the injuries. Now... any good sports fan knows that when a player is down like that on the field, whether he be your boy or an opponent, you respectfully stand there and don't say a whole lot until you know if he's ok. When he gets up and moves off the field, you clap, because football's a dangerous game and you're happy he's not dead or completely paralyzed. Is this was murrland fans chose to do? NOPE. They used this opportunity to start a loud and inappropriate chant. I guess they were really excited that their team may have permanently injured a young kid.

4. Inebriated Erin told me a wonderful story about when she was in 9th grade (which made her youngest sister about 7 years old). Both of her parents are wonderful Wahoos, so they took Inebriated Erin and her three younger sisters to a UVA-Murrland game in College Park. The twerps around them were so inappropriate and belligerent that her mom took all of them out of the stadium and they left the game early. Again, I understand it's a football game and people are drinking, and you have to expect some level of inappropriateness, etc, but the twerps sitting around them went well beyond what was even sort of inappropriate. Nice.

5. There was an unfortunate Hoo who attended a game at Murrland and ended up in the front row of the student section. She was not loud or obnoxious, nor did she say anything to anyone around her. She simply stood there quietly watching the game in a jersey for one of our players. The twerps around her did not afford her the same level of respect that she gave them. They threw things at her, and yelled at her personally to the point where she had to leave the game. Awesome.

As if all of that wasn't bad enough.... I heard a story yesterday that seriously just takes the cake.

6. Lusty Lulu scored himself a ticket to the vah tek-murrland game a few days ago, and was so excited he could barely contain himself. He had plans to have a very inappropriate tshirt made, but decided he would skip that, as he did not want to land himself in PG county jail... as he knew the shirt would incite violence from the twerps near him. He and his cHokie friends tailgated and I'm sure got nice and toasty, and headed into the game. While I have no doubt that they were doing their fair share of dishing to the twerps seated around them, someone in front of Lusty Lulu said perhaps the most inappropriate and offensive thing I have ever heard. He turned around and looked right at Lusty Lulu and his friends and said "you know what Virginia Tech leads the nation in? Mass murders." WOW. There really are no words for that. Honestly... WHO SAYS THAT?! Needless to say, Lusty Lulu had to be physically restrained.... and that guy was eventually kicked out of the game. Shocker.

So yes my friends... murrland twerps are douche bags. I still abhor tek with every fiber of my soul, but I must say I have never had a bad experience as a visitor at a tek sporting event. Murrland seems to find new and creative ways to one-up themselves in the douche column every time I learn a new story about them. Bravo, twerps. Bravo.

And to all the twerps out there who may be reading this.... you can spare me your bullshit. Because unless you can tell me a handful of stories that even remotely compare to these (especially the last one), I won't give a rats ass about what you have to say.